The Effects of and Recovering from Gaslighting

What if we had to come back and live the life of everyone we came into contact with?

I bet we would treat each other a little better.

A lot of times we don’t realize the effect we have on other people. From mental and physical abuse…to a kind word or a hand on a shoulder when someone is hurting.

Personally I have been in a couple situations where gaslighting was in play. It is a horrid form of mental abuse that a lot of times the abusers don’t even know they are doing it.

“Stop overreacting.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.”

When you know something is not right, they will push the blame onto you or make you feel like your perception is not true.

“I would never do that!”
“Why can’t you just trust me?”
“Do I constantly need to prove myself?”
“You are being insecure.”

These are all tools of a mentally manipulative person.

The effects of years of gaslighting will leave a person unable to trust their own judgement. They will constantly look towards others for guidance because you literally can’t judge if something is right or wrong. You can’t because when you thought you were right, you were “trained” to question it. You lose your sense of self, it’s not a good thing to go through.

I got to go to therapy and learn some tools to get over this stuff.

The number one thing I did to get me to start believing in me again was to affirm my correct decisions by logging them. Write down something I thought to be true, then do it, and confirm “A-ha, I was right, I am not crazy.”

Another one is to feel your emotions. If something pisses you off…good, let it piss you off. If you are sad, be the saddest person on the planet. Feel what you are feeling completely, realize why you are feeling it, and then let it go. When you laugh…laugh deeply through your belly.

A lot of times while recovering we are going to have to work through things that don’t make sense. When our minds experience trauma, it erases it. This is why people who experience extreme physical trauma, they can’t remember long periods of time. This happens when we experience extreme emotional trauma as well. So when memories pop up, we will question ourselves. “Did that really happen?” This is normal and it is okay if you can’t piece it all together right now, your mind will heal itself and put everything together as it needs to.

I think the biggest thing to remember here is that it is going to be okay, especially if you are on the other side of gaslighting. We must be aware of what it is and when someone is trying to do it to us. We must call them on it and question them. We must be open and honest with other people that we interact with to let them know what we have been through.

Life will get better and new people that don’t wish to manipulate you will come into your life and let you be your true self in all of your beauty.