Put Yourself Out There
With Pain Comes Growth and More Opportunity
If you are trying to escape this life without pain you are in for a pretty miserable time. I know for a long time I kept up walls to try and keep pain out. But in doing so, you keep all of the good stuff out too, which far out measures the pain one might go through with loss in life.
A life lived in a box is not a life well lived. Sure, you could take the safe way out. We could put you in a corner, keep you fed, keep you away from all of the bad things in life. But that wouldn't be much of a life now would it?
I have taken on the philosophy of just throwing myself out there and really following my intuition, not my head. I spent many years using logic and even priding myself in it. It got me to where I am today, which is not bad. I have a good paying job and I did have a marriage, was working toward a house, had the 401k, health insurance...Just everything you are "supposed" to do. I was living a nice, safe little life...and quite frankly, I was miserable. I felt empty and no amount of booze, jerking off, or buying of stuff could fill it. Trust me, I tried. Cars, motorcycles, tools, a TV in every room, stuff, stuff, stuff, and more stuff.
I can remember when the changes started happening. I was moved to a new job at work, which made me uncomfortable. I was working this corporate job and also helping to get the restaurant/hotel up and running. My weekdays consisted on working nine to five-ish and headed over after work to help with dinner service. After that, getting drunk at the bar and getting home in time to pass out and do it all over again the next day. My boss had informed me that they were going to start making our lunch hours mandatory...meaning I would have to be to work at 8 a.m. instead of 9 a.m. This put a damper on my currently lifestyle, but instead of complaining, I embraced it.
I started my "Mandatory Lunch Hour Rehab". This is where I would take my lunch hour, usually workout, play guitar, and on rest days play a little NHL on the Xbox. This was on the my starts into turning something negative into something positive. It was a really great time in my life. Usually the house would be empty and I would play to an audience of my dog/and or cat(s). I would grab a little bit of lunch and really just enjoy the time by myself immersing in the things that I enjoyed doing. I started to get a passion for life back and some confidence. Then on Sundays I started going out into the world and meeting new people. Turns out I was a lot more of an interesting person that what I had lead myself to believe. I started learning more sociable skills, talking with strangers, dogs, cats, receptionists, and anyone willing to have a chat.
The right kinds of people started getting into my life and things were really headed in the right direction. I was having a lot of success with my weight loss, my job, and relationships in general.
I guess the whole point of this is, if you want to get around the right people, you have to put yourself out there for who you really are...not what you want people to think you are. If you aren't happy with the way you are, change. If you want to attract better people, be a better person. Self development is the greatest journey one can embark on. Acquiring social skills, getting into the gym, gaining confidence, etc...these all lead to great things. There was a time when I suffered heavily from social anxiety. I went from that to singing in front of audiences in a variety of places. It all stems from getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Put yourself in awkward situations. Start conversations, ask that person out, do the thing that you are scared to do. You will find, it's not that scary. When life gets comfortable, find ways to make it uncomfortable...that is where the growth is. Embrace it.
As always, thank you for your time and attention.
If you are trying to escape this life without pain you are in for a pretty miserable time. I know for a long time I kept up walls to try and keep pain out. But in doing so, you keep all of the good stuff out too, which far out measures the pain one might go through with loss in life.
A life lived in a box is not a life well lived. Sure, you could take the safe way out. We could put you in a corner, keep you fed, keep you away from all of the bad things in life. But that wouldn't be much of a life now would it?
I have taken on the philosophy of just throwing myself out there and really following my intuition, not my head. I spent many years using logic and even priding myself in it. It got me to where I am today, which is not bad. I have a good paying job and I did have a marriage, was working toward a house, had the 401k, health insurance...Just everything you are "supposed" to do. I was living a nice, safe little life...and quite frankly, I was miserable. I felt empty and no amount of booze, jerking off, or buying of stuff could fill it. Trust me, I tried. Cars, motorcycles, tools, a TV in every room, stuff, stuff, stuff, and more stuff.
I can remember when the changes started happening. I was moved to a new job at work, which made me uncomfortable. I was working this corporate job and also helping to get the restaurant/hotel up and running. My weekdays consisted on working nine to five-ish and headed over after work to help with dinner service. After that, getting drunk at the bar and getting home in time to pass out and do it all over again the next day. My boss had informed me that they were going to start making our lunch hours mandatory...meaning I would have to be to work at 8 a.m. instead of 9 a.m. This put a damper on my currently lifestyle, but instead of complaining, I embraced it.
I started my "Mandatory Lunch Hour Rehab". This is where I would take my lunch hour, usually workout, play guitar, and on rest days play a little NHL on the Xbox. This was on the my starts into turning something negative into something positive. It was a really great time in my life. Usually the house would be empty and I would play to an audience of my dog/and or cat(s). I would grab a little bit of lunch and really just enjoy the time by myself immersing in the things that I enjoyed doing. I started to get a passion for life back and some confidence. Then on Sundays I started going out into the world and meeting new people. Turns out I was a lot more of an interesting person that what I had lead myself to believe. I started learning more sociable skills, talking with strangers, dogs, cats, receptionists, and anyone willing to have a chat.
The right kinds of people started getting into my life and things were really headed in the right direction. I was having a lot of success with my weight loss, my job, and relationships in general.
I guess the whole point of this is, if you want to get around the right people, you have to put yourself out there for who you really are...not what you want people to think you are. If you aren't happy with the way you are, change. If you want to attract better people, be a better person. Self development is the greatest journey one can embark on. Acquiring social skills, getting into the gym, gaining confidence, etc...these all lead to great things. There was a time when I suffered heavily from social anxiety. I went from that to singing in front of audiences in a variety of places. It all stems from getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Put yourself in awkward situations. Start conversations, ask that person out, do the thing that you are scared to do. You will find, it's not that scary. When life gets comfortable, find ways to make it uncomfortable...that is where the growth is. Embrace it.
As always, thank you for your time and attention.
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