Let's Go On An Adventure
Today was not a guarantee, stop acting like it.
For everything in life there is a lesson, some of them harder than others. If you have read my writings in the past you will know that the death of my brother John is something that impacted me greatly. It took me a long time to figure out what his death meant to me. I know it clicked for me one day and I took the time to write this.
"It took me a long time to figure out what your death brought to my life.
I will honor your existence by be as honest, open, and loving as you were.
You were truly fearless brother.
You inspired a greatness in me.
Your death will not be in be in vain.
You will now live through me."
There were a lot of events after his death that impacted me as well. I would go down and console my grieving mother. Help my little brother as we coped together the best way we could, it meant getting pissed at several local establishments. Taking care of half the funeral tab so my mother wouldn't have to worry. All the things that good sons do. But, one of the things that impacted me most was the cleaning of his apartment. Surely, if John was planning on dying that day, he would have tidied up a bit better.
As we entered into the apartment it was plain to see, he wasn't planning on dying that day. He had shopped at the local food pantry, the cans were in a cloth bag on his couch. His phone was on the charger, which was odd, because he never left home without it. Clothes were strewn about, dishes in the sink, and it looked like...well...It looked like he was going to be home any minute, but he never did get there.
The universe had something else planned for John that day. The best the police could figure out is that at or around 7:17 p.m. on August 31, 2015, he saw the vehicle exiting the drive thru, panicked...and well, he died at 9:56 p.m. in Pittsburgh Allegheny General.
I miss him.
I spent a lot of my life kind of wandering around from thing to thing with no real aim. Doing what I could do to make money, was stuck in a relationship going nowhere. Had no idea what I was doing here, but I was just doing. I was living a life of fear. I had horrible social anxiety that I used alcohol to mask. A couple of beers and I could talk to anyone, but it became crutch. I didn't believe in much of anything, let alone myself. I had amazing talents that I was doing nothing with.
A lot of that changed when I quit smoking, I gained some confidence. Changed some more when I conquered obesity. Changed a lot more when my brother died.
I am not quite sure where this life is taking me, but I do know I am a lot more aware of what I do now and how it impacts other people. I go about each day with a purpose and I steadily move towards what I believe my ultimate purpose is. This may change over time, but the signs show me that I am on the right path.
The point of all of this is this: Today was not a guarantee, tomorrow will not be either. What you have now is this moment and these moments add up to your life. Whatever good you want to have, you can have it. But you must pay attention. He, God, the universal power, he whispers. He uses luck and coincidence as signs. There is no such thing as coincidence. Whatever it is you are going to do in this life...start now. Believe, act as if you already have it, move towards it, and it will move toward you.
As always, thank you for your time and attention.
Rest in peace John Allen Hadfield, you were a gift to the world.
For everything in life there is a lesson, some of them harder than others. If you have read my writings in the past you will know that the death of my brother John is something that impacted me greatly. It took me a long time to figure out what his death meant to me. I know it clicked for me one day and I took the time to write this.
"It took me a long time to figure out what your death brought to my life.
I will honor your existence by be as honest, open, and loving as you were.
You were truly fearless brother.
You inspired a greatness in me.
Your death will not be in be in vain.
You will now live through me."
There were a lot of events after his death that impacted me as well. I would go down and console my grieving mother. Help my little brother as we coped together the best way we could, it meant getting pissed at several local establishments. Taking care of half the funeral tab so my mother wouldn't have to worry. All the things that good sons do. But, one of the things that impacted me most was the cleaning of his apartment. Surely, if John was planning on dying that day, he would have tidied up a bit better.
As we entered into the apartment it was plain to see, he wasn't planning on dying that day. He had shopped at the local food pantry, the cans were in a cloth bag on his couch. His phone was on the charger, which was odd, because he never left home without it. Clothes were strewn about, dishes in the sink, and it looked like...well...It looked like he was going to be home any minute, but he never did get there.
The universe had something else planned for John that day. The best the police could figure out is that at or around 7:17 p.m. on August 31, 2015, he saw the vehicle exiting the drive thru, panicked...and well, he died at 9:56 p.m. in Pittsburgh Allegheny General.
I miss him.
I spent a lot of my life kind of wandering around from thing to thing with no real aim. Doing what I could do to make money, was stuck in a relationship going nowhere. Had no idea what I was doing here, but I was just doing. I was living a life of fear. I had horrible social anxiety that I used alcohol to mask. A couple of beers and I could talk to anyone, but it became crutch. I didn't believe in much of anything, let alone myself. I had amazing talents that I was doing nothing with.
A lot of that changed when I quit smoking, I gained some confidence. Changed some more when I conquered obesity. Changed a lot more when my brother died.
I am not quite sure where this life is taking me, but I do know I am a lot more aware of what I do now and how it impacts other people. I go about each day with a purpose and I steadily move towards what I believe my ultimate purpose is. This may change over time, but the signs show me that I am on the right path.
The point of all of this is this: Today was not a guarantee, tomorrow will not be either. What you have now is this moment and these moments add up to your life. Whatever good you want to have, you can have it. But you must pay attention. He, God, the universal power, he whispers. He uses luck and coincidence as signs. There is no such thing as coincidence. Whatever it is you are going to do in this life...start now. Believe, act as if you already have it, move towards it, and it will move toward you.
As always, thank you for your time and attention.
Rest in peace John Allen Hadfield, you were a gift to the world.
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