Attitude of Gratitude

Say Thank You!

For all of it!  If you can start to see the lessons in all of your failures and all of your hardships in life you will, number 1, be able to get over things quicker, and number 2, be happier.

In my life experience, I have had a few of the more not-so-great things happen.  I know in my youth I had issues getting over death.  I didn't like going to funerals, I didn't like the idea that all of our friends, family, and eventually us...well...it goes away.

The girl I took to my junior prom, her fate was to die in an automobile accident.  Her last words to me were "You should live a little."  Interesting...and perhaps...perhaps I am little uptight about life and life decisions.  I wasn't for a long time.  I do realize now that not every decision is life or death...but very small decisions over a very lengthy period of time are...quite literally life or death decisions.  I think overall, we can all make better decisions that bring upon great changes in our life overtime.

When it came to my brother John's death, that was a tough one for me.  I just couldn't make any sense of it.  John has Asperger's which means he had autistic tendencies...but got along in life okay.  He lived on his own, had a license but didn't drive.  One night, walking home, he was hit by a 17 year old in a pickup truck and died later on that night.

The unique thing about John is that he couldn't lie, well he could, but he was very bad at it.  Another thing about him is that he never judged anyone.  I don't know if that part of his brain even functioned.  He loved everybody and was just generally open about his life.

It finally clicked with me one day and I wrote this on his Facebook wall...that I had to turn into a memorial page for him.

Rich Hadfield‎ to John Hadfield
April 5, 2016 ·
It took me a long time to figure out what your death brought to my life. I will honor your existence by be as honest, open, and loving as you were. You were truly fearless brother. You inspired a greatness in me. Your death will not be in be in vain. You will now live through me.
++++

It has been a long journey...but since then I have learned to open myself up to the world.  I have spent a lot more time with my mom.  I make sure I get down to see her on the holidays as John always did.  I just try to live a better life because of him.  There's not too many days that go by that I don't think of him.  My life has been on that has been filled with the absolute worst and best that it has to offer.  I was truly blessed to have such a unique person to be around growing up.

These days not much gets to me.  I am thankful to be on the right side of the dirt when I wake up in the morning.  It ain't all bad....as a matter of fact, it is all pretty darned good.

As always, thank you for your time and attention.

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