Why Do People Do What They Do?

Why Do People Do What They Do?

This is a good one.

I gave up trying to figure this one out a long time ago.  You can be pretty much what you want to be in this life. Some people, for some reason, choose to be liars.  Choose to be mockers, choose to be negative, choose to be whatever one chooses to be that seems to fit their way of life.

I think we all at one point or another tell some great lies to fit into whatever social circle we are trying to fit into.  I am guilty of this...We lie to get what we want.  The interesting thing about that is, you are building a house of cards.  It is a lot easier to just tell the truth.  BUT, be aware people are out there that will twist your reality in such a way that you will not know up from down.  These people are known in the psychology world as "gaslighters".

A common form of this creature is one who will put you down in order to make themselves feel superior in some way.

Now, I am not saying we all don't do silly things in our lives...but these are actions over a long period of time.  So it is not just a one time event.  These manipulators know their game and they play it well.  Blaming you for their actions, lying to your face, and when you question them, they turn it around to be your fault.

For instance, significant other gets caught in a lie about being somewhere with someone they are trying to keep secret.  They turn this around on you and call you insecure.

They will also do things like use you as an excuse to not do things with friends.  "Well, we would go by my s.o. doesn't want to."  This causes those friends to think negatively of you, when really it was your s.o. that didn't want to go.

I am not trying to sound all high and mighty here.  I have made plenty of mistakes, I am sure at some point I may have seemed like or even played the part of a manipulator....The difference is, I was not aware of right and wrong.  Some people are raised in this type of environment and never change.

Bottom line is this...Watch out for these actions in others and also in yourself.  In healthy relationships we celebrate our partner's victories and comfort them in defeat.   We should not be laughing at their misfortunes, belittling their accomplishments or making them feel bad for not reacting in a way that we expect them to.  They are complete and total individuals with their own thoughts and feelings...not an extension of us...and not here for our mere pleasure.

If you are around someone who does this...and you call it to their attention only to be shot down.  Run.

As always, thank you for your time and attention.

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